


Not the Same

by captainimprobable



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Pregnancy, Too Cheesy just be warned, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 15:31:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4569711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainimprobable/pseuds/captainimprobable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose is pregnant with Steven, and Pearl is trying to cope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not the Same

She pretends she doesn’t notice when the familiar shape of Rose’s body begins to change.

It happens gradually, barely noticeable at first except to the keenest eye, but Pearl has done her research and knows what to look for; the slight weight gain, the unexplainable nausea.  

The way Rose begins to absentmindedly touch her stomach, glancing her fingers across her gem every so often, as though to make sure it’s still there.

It always is, but Pearl knows that soon it won’t be. 

She almost hadn’t believed it when Rose had sat them down and explained the concept.  _Pregnancy_.  It sounded vile, and wrong, and downright disgusting, but Rose had spoken about it with a content, knowing smile that everyone knew meant she’d brook no argument. 

That didn’t mean, however, that Pearl hadn’t tried.

“ _Why,” she’d asked, for the seventh time, “Would you want some creature feeding off everything in your body?”_

_Amethyst rolled her eyes from the hole she’d been digging in the sand.  “Get over it, Pearl, she’s gonna do what she wants.”  Garnet inclined her head in silent agreement._

_Pearl ignored them in favor of watching Rose peruse her small army of seashells.  “Don’t you think,” she continued, gaining steam, “That the process itself is a little suspicious?”_

_This, finally, got Rose to look up.  “Suspicious?”_

_Pearl nodded vigorously, pleased to be holding Rose’s attention at last._

_“I mean, the…thing…is planted inside your body, right? And when it sticks there, it just starts feeding.  Like a parasite, taking all of your nutrients, feeding off your life force to sustain itself, until nothing’s left-“_

_“Like the kindergarten?”_

_Amethyst’s voice was small compared to the crashing of the waves, but nobody had trouble getting the message._

_Rose’s face grew hard.  “Pearl,” she said, her voice terrifyingly calm.  “Is that what you meant?”_

_Heat flashed to Pearl’s face as she desperately attempted to salvage the conversation.  “No, of course- well, I mean, yes, I guess that is what I was trying to say at first, but it’s not…“_

_Her voice trailed off as Rose abruptly stood up, brushed off her dress, and strided briskly back up the beach, closely followed by a muted Amethyst._

She hadn’t said anything much to Rose about the pregnancy after that.

But now Rose’s stomach is expanding, and Pearl knows that it’s only a matter of time before she disappears and leaves the world’s worst consolation prize in her place. 

~~

Two months in, Rose announces that she’s going to stop fusing.  Amethyst lets out a dramatic “NOOOOOOOOOOO”, and even Garnet can’t keep her shocked “What” from escaping. 

As Rose explains that she doesn’t know how fusion would affect the baby, Pearl keeps silent, unable to even form the words.  It would be one thing if Rose was taking a short break from fusion, but Pearl knows that this is far more final.   She’ll never again get to feel what it was like to be Rainbow Quartz.

She’ll never again dance with Rose.

Pearl turns around and walks away.

~~

Five months in, and Rose is starting to show.

The mood in the house turns to one of anticipation.

Greg is over a lot more, to Pearl’s dismay.  Even Amethyst and Garnet, who claim to enjoy Greg’s company, seem a little strained whenever the human walks in.  Pearl knows they aren’t all upset for quite the same reasons, but she understands their anxiety. 

The truth is, no matter how much the other gems accept Rose’s decision, it’s still a fact that in a few months (the blink of an eye), she’s going to be gone forever.  Every moment with Rose is starting to feel shorter, every conversation more important and more precious.  So while they may not agree on much, all three gems can acknowledge that the time Rose spends with Greg is time none of them will ever get back.  

When she thinks about, it, though, Pearl can’t really find it in herself to blame him for wanting these moments with Rose.  She knows what it’s like to love Rose, knows that even when her life isn’t ticking away it’s always better to be near her than it is to be away.  It feels wrong, being away from Rose. 

This, at least, Pearl can understand.

~~

Eight months in.

When Rose asks to speak with her, Pearl isn’t really surprised. 

They sit down side by side on the hilltop, and Rose speaks while they watch the lights in the town twinkle and go out one by one.

“This was…never really the plan.”

Pearl says nothing, preferring to stare down at Beach City.

Rose lets out a tiny giggle.  “Of course this wasn’t the plan.  I fell in love with a _human._ I’m having a child. This is unbelievable!”

She laughs again.  Pearl doesn’t bother pretending to be amused, but Rose doesn’t expect her to.  They’re both used to this game by now.

The laughter peters off after a few moments, until silence wedges its way uncomfortably between the two gems.  Pearl is the first one to break.

“I thought he would be temporary.”  Her voice isn’t accusatory or angry.  It’s just tired.  She is so, so tired.

Rose shrugs.  “I did too,” she admits, and glances sideways at Pearl.  “He’s not, though.”

“I know.”

“Neither is Steven.”  Pearl’s head snaps up so suddenly her neck cracks.

“You _named_ it?”

“He’s not an _it!”_

Pearl shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I-“

Rose places a protective hand over her stomach, cradling her gem. “He’s a child.  My child.  My son.  And he’s going to exist, whether you accept that or not.”

Pearl closes her eyes and lets her face fall into her hands.  “I know,” she says again, and it’s muffled, but Rose can still hear the pain in her words.

“Pearl…I know you blame me for what I’m doing.“ 

“No, I-“ 

Rose puts her hand up.  “Please,” she pleads.  “Please let me talk.”

Pearl falls silent again, sure now that anything she says will make it all worse.

Rose soldiers on.  “I know you blame me for what I’m doing, and I’m sorry for that.  I know you blame Greg, too, but...but Pearl,” she places a hand on the swell of her stomach again, smiling sadly. 

“You can’t blame Steven.”

~~

Eight months in, and Pearl doesn’t know what to say.

~~

When it actually happens, Pearl is by Rose’s side. 

Greg is holding Rose’s hand, and Garnet is mopping her brow, and Amethyst is flitting around doing a million things at once, but Pearl is just there.  By her side.

Just like she always has been.

Everyone’s feeling a lot of things at once.  It’s loud, and it’s hectic, and it’s overwhelming, and Pearl is staring at Rose’s face because she knows that soon she’s never going to see it again, and she thinks she’s crying but she’s not quite certain, and then…. And then Rose smiles. 

In the midst of all the chaos it’s Rose, as usual, who knows exactly what to do, and when she smiles up at the four of them one last time, they all smile back. 

When Rose Quartz is smiling, everyone always smiles back.

They’re all still smiling when her gem starts glowing.  And when she closes her eyes and whispers her “I love you”s they say it back, because they love her, they love her, of course they love her. 

Her gem glows brighter and Pearl knows it’s the end, and it’s just too much to bear when Rose adds, almost as an afterthought, “I’ll see you soon”.

A poof.

A loud cry.

And Rose Quartz is gone.

~~

Pearl doesn’t really know what happens next.  The others are suddenly fussing over a bundle in Greg’s arms, but it all seems far away as Pearl tries to get ahold of herself. 

The grief is overwhelming.  She doesn’t know how long she stands there, staring at the spot where Rose used to be, but after awhile a shadow crosses her path and she numbly registers Greg Universe standing in front of her.

“Um, everyone’s held him so far but you, Pearl, so if you want…?”  He trails off awkwardly and gestures to the bundle.  She wants to lash out but there’s no point, Rose is gone, and a small part of her grudgingly knows that Greg must be hurting, too.

So she opens her arms almost reflexively and nods, resolving to get this over with as quickly as possible, and suddenly she’s holding Steven Quartz Universe for the first time. 

He’s lighter than she’d expected, and she has to adjust her hold so she doesn’t drop him.  Pearl doesn’t quite know how fragile human children are, but she assumes he wouldn’t heal very quickly if he fell to the floor.  At least she thinks so.

Then she looks at the baby’s face, and her resolve begins to crack, because. oh.  _Oh._

The grief is still there, and she knows that it probably won’t ever go away.  And when her eyes come to rest on the Rose Quartz gem on Steven’s stomach, she still feels a stab of pain.  But that’s not all there is.

When she sees Steven’s face, it feels… _right._   There’s no other way to explain it.  He has Rose’s gem, but he’s not Rose.  Well, not…quite Rose, anyway, but that’s okay. 

She doesn’t know why she feels it so strongly, and she doesn’t know what’s going to happen next.  But as she gathers the baby more tightly in her arms, she knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that Steven Universe is a part of her family.

**Author's Note:**

> This is labelled in my documents as "pearls salty af.doc" and I feel terrible about it


End file.
